I know! I know! At the mention of Daddy issues, one may think of a single lady talking about her Baby Daddy.  As much as this is a big issue, there is a bigger Daddy issue. That is what I will be sharing today for our reflection.

Being an only daughter, for most of the time growing up I felt like a Daddy’s girl.  In fact a Cousin who lived with us told me some years back that I was totally spoilt by my Dad mentioning a very expensive watch my Dad had bought me. “What watch?” was my response. I could not remember this so-called gift. Selective memory emanating from Daddy issues had fuelled a different perception.  I didn’t disagree or fight much with my Dad and I only recall three fights throughout my entire life. But as they say in Ghana, chale… were those fights bloody!

The first one happened when I was 15 years old, a teenager still trying to figure out life. I had gone for a neighbourhood party and my elder brother happened to be there.  The host was a good friend of mine but I guess my brother did not like me being there and told whatever stories to my Dad. I ended up getting a thorough beating. I was so mad that I told my brother some very “choice” words including that our relationship was only based on the fact that we were growing up in the same house. The next two fights were verbal and happened in my early twenties.  On reflection, they were even uglier than being beaten and involved an absolute philosophical disagreement on the choices I was making for my life. In fact one resulted in me penning a very angry letter to my Dad, the kind of letter I would not wish on any parent. For all the three fights I cried for days and felt very lonely and unloved by someone who was meant to be my primary cheerleader. Daddy issues….

My Dad passed on in January 1999; I was heartbroken – for days I was inconsolable. By this time we had made up and moved past our differences.  Or so I thought! As I continued to cultivate a relationship with God something phenomenal happened. While on a trip to Addis I had a dream. In the dream, I was re-living one of the verbal fights I had had with my Dad.  Step by step the verbal exchange took place followed by the tears. I suddenly woke up from the dream and I was still crying. With an unstoppable stream of tears flowing I wondered what was happening and recalled the dream I just had. I clearly remember hearing the Holy Spirit say to me “How can you relate to me as your Father and you still have unresolved Daddy issues”? What? I was stunned.  I stayed up the rest of the night literally crying a river, asking for forgiveness from my Dad while confirming that I had forgiven him for the heartache. That marked the day I released my Dad, fully forgiving him. My relationship with God took a transformative turn for the better.

It then dawned on me that many times when a Christian has a distant, poor or questioning relationship with God, most often this can be traced back to the relationship with their Dad. What relationship do you have with your Dad? Are your Daddy issues affecting your relationship with God? Settling this one issue can release you to a more trusting relationship with God. I know. I know.  I have been there.